Short Freedom.....

Oh my goodness! It has been three months since I wrote here. And to think I made a promise to myself that I will write here daily because I wish to record all my experience here. Well, one thing for sure is that I have not experience Japan. Been basically just going to the University and doing experiments, taking Master class, Japanese classes (which I enjoy the most) and then collapsing on my dorm bed and sleeping the day just to wake up and do things all over again. I have only a handful of experiences and they feel so long ago...  (pictures are posted below) It's not even because of my sensei being demanding or anything. In fact, no one is demanding anything. My sensei and sempais are very accommodating and helpful.

It's mainly because any knowledge I accumulated in the past is just a teeny tiny percentage here in Japan. As one of my foreign lab-mate said, when I arrive here, I realize how dumb I'm actually are. So, that means I have to chase and level myself as with the others. Which....is not so easy mainly because I don't know how to I will learn everything and still manage my time to actually sleep and eat. I feel like I'm just running but not going anywhere.

I sometimes wish I have the super powers of Japanese because they look like they don't eat or sleep and yet have enough brain power to do things. No kidding. They come early, leave late and work everyday. They have extra-curricular activities on top of studies and they have time to non-school related stuff (like looking for a job, which by the way the system is insane).

It doesn't help that I'm feeling sad and lonely in this country. Japanese people.......are kind but not as friendly as I hope. Or maybe it's just me. But it's really hard to be energetic when they are not responsive. I mostly get just a smile and nodding of the head and then the conversation is dead. I felt so sadden by them especially because I have dreamed to come to Japan, making friends and experiencing what Japan is for most of my life.

Though one of my dorm-mate has a very warm and loving laboratory mates, which are all Japanese. I envy her so much. I think it's because she acted crazy around them and care less what they think so they started treating her like one of them. It's also nice that they are only a few of them so they can grow closer. It didn't hurt also that she was the only girl on that lab. My other dorm-mates also felt the coldness of the Japanese. Actually, most of the foreigners I met have the same problem. Even during our orientation, the Japanese counselor herself said that it is hard to be friends with Japanese.

To be honest, some Japanese are more open but I notice that those Japanese have experience living in a different country. Moving on, I do enjoy the winter here as long as it snows. The snow here is fluffy and nice! I hate the ice though. I have fallen so much, I'm surprised that I have not yet broken something.

Anyway, have to get back to reality. I promise myself that I will try to more here. With that, enjoy the small pictures.